Is there anything more annoying than logging on to Facebook, accepting a friend request – because hey, it’s nice meeting new people – and then immediately getting bombarded with: “What do you look like”, “Are you horny”, Can I stroke for you?” (No, really. This happened. Worst pickup line ever.)
I created my Jessica Collins Facebook account figuring it was great exposure for me to meet new people and get them excited for my novel (Self-indulgent plug time: March 2017 from Deep Desires Press!!!), as well as a great way to meet other authors. And I have met some really, truly, awesome, people including other authors, bloggers, and general fans of the genre.
Unfortunately, I have also been exposed to men who are apparently desperate for some computer lovin’.
Honestly, what has the world come to when the way to hit on a woman is to send them a dick pic? Or to get more and more aggressive when you are obviously not sending them a picture of you? Here is an actual, recent, conversation I had with a random stranger:
Is that u in ur pic?
Hello. No, that’s a stock picture. I’m an author and use a pseudonym.
Wut u look lyk
No, sorry. I don’t send pictures to people I don’t know.
Plz. Ur pretty.
How do you think I’m pretty if you haven’t seen a picture of me?
No. I don’t send pictures.
(Insert dick pic here). Pic of u now plz.
Blocked and deleted.
There are so many things wrong here, and that’s not even touching on his spelling. From the first comment, I should have known better. I admit it. In my defense, though, I’m new at writing. I’m trying to build a name for myself and the last thing I want to do is alienate someone who may really be interested in my series. I try to be nice, yet firm. “No, I will not send you my picture” should have been enough, yet this person felt begging was a better alternative. Ok, whatever. Again, should have stopped the conversation, but he hadn’t really been rude, just pushy.
And then… the dick pic. What the actual f*ck? Why? Why is sending me a picture of your penis (which, may I add, was very hairy and not all that attractive), going to convince me to send you a picture of myself? Does this actually work, for anyone?
And apparently, it’s not just men. I’ve heard multiple stories of women doing similar things: friend requests from some 25-year-old, super sexy woman who adds you and then immediately wants to offer you sex, or to follow her snap chat, or inviting you to a porn page.
Where did we go wrong? What happened to… I don’t know… talking to someone. Finding out about the person behind the screen, their interests, if they are even interested in you to begin with. When did “no” start to mean “just keep asking”? When did “let me send them an unsolicited picture of my junk” become a good idea?
Take this fun exchange, which happened today and prompted this very blog post. He messaged me a whole 30 seconds after I accepted his request:
Hi (At least this one said hi, so that’s a start)
How are you
Good, thank you. How are you?
I am good too
Are you horny?
Luckily, in this case, once I answered with “No, but if I were I would call my husband”, he didn’t respond again.
Unfortunately, and I hate to admit it, but I’ve started “Facebook profiling” men who friend request me. In my experience, the men who are making these comments and sending pictures are from other parts of the world (what is with Albanian men? Are you all that horny, all the time?). If someone requests me and we don’t have at least a few people in common, I check them as well. It seems these men will just go down one person’s friend list and request any woman they see.
I mean, maybe I’m looking at this all wrong. Maybe I should be flattered. Maybe my Facebook profile is so alluring men cannot help but throw themselves at me, desperate for my attention. Maybe they temporarily lose their minds and, in a mad rush of desire, try to convince me to “choose them” with a picture of their genitalia. Perhaps the dick pic is the human version of a peacock spreading his feathers to attract a mate.
Or, and hear me out. Maybe they’re just being a complete ass.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below, and be sure to follow my newsletter for updates on Stealing Beauty, teasers, and giveaways.